Why I hate the tarholes!

Let me first clarify that not everyone who went to UNC or is a UNC fan is a tarhole. Tarholes are a "special" kind of UNC fan that reaffirm my hate for anything Carolina whenever they open their mouths. I dislike Carolina for the obvoius reasons...I am a diehard Duke fan and to be diehard you have to hate all things Carolina. But I am also an avid sports fan and absolutely love college basketball. I can admit when my team didn't deserve to win, I don't jump ship when they are having an off year (or two or three), I can congratulate even my worst enemies after a big game and I watch with unwavering faith whether my team has a chance to get to the Final Four or they are just hoping not to be a "one and done" in the tourney. I remember the days of Christian Laettner, Bobby Hurley, Grant Hill, Jason Williams, Shane Battier, DeMarcus Nelson, JJ Redick...and could go on for days. I remember the heart break in 1999 and 2002, disappointment in 2005, and agony in 2007...not to mention 1995 and 1996 when not throwing my tv out the window every game was a challenge.

The point I'm trying to make is that I have never been one to jump on the Duke bandwagon when times are good or off when times are bad. With tarholes, that is a whole different story. Tarholes don't know the history of Carolina basketball. They hardly watch games until it becomes tournament time or they hear Carolina might be good this year. They are all mouth when UNC is good and disappear into the night when UNC is bad. They can't congratulate their opponents on a good win but are first to point out when you lose...even if it's a loss by another team who already beat UNC. They act like they are diehard Carolina fans when in actuality they are just bandwagon fans. I once stopped a tarhole mid-rant when he was giving my hell about Duke not being so good the past couple years (this was probably in 2006). I asked him what about Carolina in 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004...they didn't even make the tournament in 2002 and 2003! He quickly retreated and said I knew entirely too much about basketball for him to even talk.

I don't mind the rivalry at all. In fact, I enjoy it...that is what basketball is all about! The fact that I grew up in a state with some of basketballs most elite teams is awesome. I like smack talking back and forth but if you want to claim you are a true Tarheel fan, then know the facts, watch the games and learn the history. Take a loss with dignity and know when to admit you just got beat. Don't revel in other teams' victories when you haven't even proved yourself. Don't call Duke overrated when you have been the bigger disappointment of the season. Learn the sport and pull for the Tarholes even when they only have a shot of making the NIT. Then and only then can you truly call yourself a Carolina fan and have a leg to stand on when you're trying to trash talk!

I have several friends and family members that are true Carolina fans and they can taunt me all day long. They know when to talk and when to shut up...and when they've just been out played. We can discuss Duke/Carolina all day long because they know the game as well as I do. I don't mind telling them when Carolina is looking good and Duke is looking terrible. It is certainly not them that I dislike or them that make me hate UNC. It is only my love for Duke and the tarhole idiots that make me loathe all things Carolina. Here's hoping for some Ram stew on Feb. 11th!! Until then, GO DUKE!!!!!

Love...or whatever you want to call it

I have been thinking a lot about love lately. I am sure it has a lot to do with most of my close friends and family getting engaged and married recently. I have never had much luck in love. I think the biggest problem is my choice in men (and I use the term men loosely for some of them). I will be the first to admit that I do not always (maybe ever is a better word) pick the best guys to date. I can't say they all are the same type either...other than being wrong for me. Sometimes I feel like I am such a smart person but so stupid when it comes to love. And now that I'm in my late 20's, I can't say that I haven't begun to wonder if there really is anybody out there that's worth it for me.

I'm not saying I want to get married right now or that I think I'm running out of time or anything. I guess I'm just not confident in myself that I will actually allow myself to find someone worthwhile. I would rather try to fit all the people who really aren't right for me into that place instead of being strong enough to walk away. I have learned that I tend to stick with people until they leave me even when the flashing red lights are going off telling me that he is not the right one. I have a history of staying in touch with most of my ex-boyfriends...and falling back on them when I need some attention. It's like I know exactly what my problems are but I won't do anything to fix them. Didn't someone say that being insane is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time?? Well, it's official...I am INSANE!!

I don't understand how it is possible to love someone when they obviously don't love you. I know it happens all the time...just look at the divorce rate these days. It just makes me angry to realize that love is not enough. It doesn't matter how much you put yourself out there, how open you are, how honest you are, how much you care. People will just take what they can get from you, offer nothing in return, walk away and leave you feeling lonely, heart broken and confused. I quite frankly am tired of it. I am tired of putting it all out there and getting nothing in return. Again, I realize this is my fault because I somehow choose these people to fall in love with. I just wish it wasn't so hard to find a good guy out there.

I know everyone is going to say "you're still young" "when the time is right" "there are good ones out there" "just be patient", etc. I have heard (and even said) all of this before and I didn't say I was giving up on the possibility. I am just venting my frustrations which I know some of you share. I'm hoping I will reread this post and finally have the guts to leave my past in the past and move forward. I hope I will gain the strength to walk away from the wrong people. I hope that I will realize I deserve so much more than what I accept from people. And most importantly, I hope that I will keep myself open to the possibility that there is someone out there who is right for me, who will make me read this again and laugh, who will make all the hurt and disappointment disappear and who will love me the same way that I love them. He is out there, right??

Run What??

Some of you know that I am running a 5k on January 31st for the Race for the Cure. I got interested in the 5k because one of my friends in NC, Holly, decided to do one back in Dec. Holly has not been very athletic in her life but decided last year to get a trainer, join the gym and start running. She inspired me for a number of reasons...not to mention I really want to lose these extra 35 lbs I've been carrying around for over a year and I have realized that I really need to set goals for myself.

One of the great things about working for my company is that they have a gym onsite and they are very health-oriented. They have numerous resources if you really want to lose weight so I have no more excuses. I joined the gym back in Oct. but didn't really get serious until Nov. I have been going 4-5 times a week other than over the holidays when I cheated a bit. I have lost 11 lbs since I started which seems good I guess but I feel like I should be closer to 20 by now. I know exactly what my problems are but I haven't hit the point where I'm ready to completely give in...and by give in I mean stop drinking and eating so poorly on the weekends. I do great during the week and have mostly cut out my drinking on weekdays but I generally blow it on the weekends after a late night out when I'm craving nothing but grease and carbs the next day. That is a whole other thing I need to work on but one step at a time!

So back to the 5k...I have been running about 4 miles at least 3 times a week but on the elliptical. I know running outside is a whole different story so yesterday I decided I needed to give it a try. Let me just say, it hurt like hell! I am no where close to being in shape and that was blatantly apparent yesterday. I ran/walked for 30 mins and have no clue how many miles it was but I'm pretty sure it was no where near 3.1 miles. I only have 2 weeks before the race and I don't know what I'm going to do?! I'm not giving it up, though. I have committed to this with several co-workers and friends but I just don't want to embarrass myself. Everyone has said the event is really fun and there will be a lot of people who run/walk so maybe it won't be that bad. I guess it's just a hit to the ego because I'm so used to being an athlete but those days seem so far behind me. I know I can not blame anyone but myself. I allowed myself to get out of shape and gain all this weight so I can't really do anything else but keep pushing forward and try to get myself back where I want to be.

I appreciate everyone's support and I can't wait to be back in a "normal" weight range and to be able to do the things I want to do. I'm sure there will be more posts about this struggle (Oprah and I have a lot in common) so just wish me luck!

Slacking!

I know, I know...I've been slacking big time! Well, it's harder than I thought to find time to update this thing. Guess I need to bring you back to New Year's. Ashley and Jennifer drove all night and got here about 5 a.m. on NYE. We had the party at our clubhouse that night and about 50 people showed up to it. We had more food than you could possibly need, a dj booth which Carlos and his brother manned semi-well, and plenty of alcohol. We managed to get someone to bartend too so that worked out well. I certainly had a blast and from what I've heard so did everyone else. We partied until about 4, cleaned some and then headed to Dana's and tried to play Guitar Hero until no one could keep their eyes open any longer.

I'm not sure I'm ready to open up about the ex on here, yet. Let's just say he was there, at first it was awkward, then we talked and I got a NYE kiss. I'm not sure it was exactly the way I was supposed to start off the New Year but I did have a really good night. I don't know what is going to happen with him but I am not putting my life on hold while he figures things out. Hopefully Mr. Right is just around the corner and he will find me sooner than later!

I dragged Jennifer and Ashley to every bar, restaurant, beach, etc. that I could think of while they were here. We hit Key Lime House on Thursday for reggae on the water and a somewhat chill night. Friday was Ashley's birthday so we headed over to Palm Beach. I have to admit that I think this was only the 3rd or 4th time I had crossed the bridge to Palm Beach. I didn't even know if we could actually go to the beach there (but found out you can). We drove around and checked out the mansions and all the people who are obviously not touched by the recession. Then we hit the beach and walked for awhile and acted like tourists. We even managed to almost get let into a house party there but decided they would soon figure out we were not where we belonged! We ended up at the Tiki Bar for a few drinks before heading home to get ready for our night out.

We took Ashley for dinner, drinks and then dancing. I think she had a good time if walking around without her shoes on in the bar is any indication. We ended the night at one of my favorite places, Bradley's. I have not been there since I moved back but it used to be our favorite weekend spot. They knew us by name and it was always packed. Things have certainly changed since I left but the manager still remembered me and still gave us free shots so I can't complain! I think we all woke up Saturday hating life a little and then hated it even more when we realized Ash and Jenn were leaving and I had ever so stupidly planned a dinner party that night for the holidays. Let's just say I didn't make it to the grocery store until 5 and dinner was not ready until 9 but that is that great thing about living in S. Florida...the Spanish people never complain about eating late!

I managed to throw together 2 lasagnas and although only about 8 people said they were going to come, 20 people ended up showing up. I was glad I didn't listen to Carlos and only cook 1! We did Dirty Santa which was fun with the gag gifts and then just played games the rest of the night. As tired as I was, it turned into another late night so Sunday was spent doing absolutely nothing but sitting on the couch with Dana watching tv and recuperating. Monday it was back to work and I don't think there were many people in the building...or probably most places...that wanted to be there. I will fill you in on the rest of the week...Gator game, softball, Rich's birthday and champagne and massages next time. What can I say, I am a busy girl and if I slack, there is just way too much to catch up on...until then, salute (or for Dana's sake salud)!